Friday, June 19, 2015

Things that go bump in the day...

In April I wrote about the Water of Life because I have been drinking enough water to fill a reservoir. The oncologists and nurses said water will flush out the toxins and help with fatigue. So as each wave of fatigue crashed into my day I drank another glass,

But as spring opened its doors the bite of fatigue got sharper each day.  After my shower I had to lie on the bed. Downstairs for breakfast, I felt dizzy as I emptied cereal into my bowl…

I feel awful, keep falling over and I am having seizures again  I tell my neurosurgeon when I see him in March for my 7th annual brain scan results.  

Well there is no change in your scan he says and the ventricles are the normal size so no sign of hydrocephalus either.

But at home when I try to hurry to reach the ringing phone, my feet end up in a knot and  I launch myself across the room like a cannon ball. My head breaks the fall as it smashes into a table…I sit up with a groan as blood trickles down my face and onto my arm…

After a three hour wheelchair wait in Accident and Emergency It is too late to stitch my head wound so I am pushed to a ward. Too ill to go home. 

The cause of my fatigue, wobbling Weeble-ness and falls is Hyponatraemia - a dangerously low sodium level in my blood. The cause of this low sodium is a side effect of one of my epilepsy drugs Eslicarbazepine (also occurs with Carbamazepine).  

My epilepsy consultant explains…by drinking a lot of water you have been making the (until now unknown to me) side effect much worse. 

I have over diluted the small amount of sodium still in my blood.  I am intoxicated with water!!

So now I have to count my cups of coffee, camomile tea and glasses of water. A total of 1500mls per day is all I can have.

After a couple of days of  one legged foot stamping tantrums and rants...the rewards of less water flow in…my Weeble-ness is less wobbly. I am hitting the floor less often and my seizures have stopped again - for now. 

So on holiday I hide the scar under my growing fringe and allow myself an extra Banaberry crush mocktail ...

Monday, June 1, 2015


I want to buy you that heart Mr H says with a tinkle in his eye as he points to a crystal pendant in a shop window in the pretty streets of Stockholm Old Town

So with a giggling grin smeared across my face we step inside.

Mr H points it out to the Swedish lady. She fetches it from the window display and holds it out to me. But with only a glimpse I back away from the counter...shaking my head...unable to speak.

As waves of nausea crash inside my stomach I stutter I can't have it...

I swipe at the stream of unexpected tears as they drip onto my blouse. 

Concern is etched into Mr H eyes. 

Chemo is all I can say. 

Chemotherapy drug I gasp.


Red in crystal. Looks like Red in plastic.

The lady immediately moves the pendant out of sight and gently puts her hand on my shoulder. I understand she kindly says, concern glowing in her eyes now too.

I never thought Mr H says as we leave the shop. 

Where did that come from I say, shaking my head. I thought I had locked that memory away forever.