No body spoke about Mr Fatigue when I was in hospital. I cannot turn my back on Mr F through a good nights sleep,he is persistent, he weaves his tentacles tightly...
Like a shadow he has many forms..
Mr Physical (P) Fatigue drains my limbs of battery fluid. Today a short walk to the post office is like completing two marathons, as I walk with my head lowered I mutter to my leg...lift... lift.... lift.......
I am on full alert for trip hazards, I lean forward in a battle against light wind. My boxing gloves on I fight a strong gust trying to push me off my feet.
My envy gnaws as Mr P. Fatigue stops me entering charity walks and runs to raise money, I fight his grip. I want to climb mountains too...
At home I replace the mantra lift with... drag... drag... drag. I leave trails on the carpet, my socks clean the floor...holes need mending. The sofa opens its arms and I succumb to its warm embrace.
Mr Brain (B) Fatigue...rudely arrives without notice, I try to predict the appearance of Mr B Fatigue: Too much time at the computer... a day out ...too long talking to friends...an emotional day...
I muddle words in too many sentences; the top I wear is a sweatshop..under my breath I search in vain for its real name, until Mr H says... fleece.
The empty water butt gleefully awaits these days, I snap at Mr H without cause; as a man he is always to blame.
Today Mr B Fatigue is in control; its attack is unforgiving...
Mr Seizure (S) Fatigue... is a danger...he might cause a seizure... but like the weather I can only rely on his unpredictability...no pattern has emerged from my seizure diary scribbles. I planned an excel sheet analysis... but don't have the energy...
The main Survival Tool for Mr F is pacing. But in my life, energy is like a packet of biscuits which must be consumed..
Pacing (described by Trinity College Dublin Disability Service) is balancing activity with rest to prevent energy-debt.; making the most of the energy that you have..
For me the loss of energy is like the losing a loved one; you only truly appreciate them when they are gone.
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